I need a new title

A lesson in colours?

2012-02-01T12:17:00.002-07:00

So to continue my soap adventures... today I unmolded the soap and cut it into bars. I was quite surprised to see that the soap had turned purple. Yes, apparently blue + yellow = purple. Who knew! It's unscented though, so unfortunately the smelly stuff I put in did not work. But the colours worked, just not how they were supposed to.

Now, to let the bars cure for about a month. Then comes testing, if I'm not too afraid of what the lye has done to the dye.

More cross-stitch

2012-01-30T15:14:00.000-07:00

I've done a couple more of these cute cross stitch designs. I think they're from a company called Yicai in Korea but I can't really remember. I get them from a local grocery store here. I just bought another one to do of the same type. It's nice and mind-numbing.

Soap-making Adventures

2012-01-29T15:08:00.000-07:00

I decided to make some soap today. A while ago, I bought some dye and scent to use so I thought now I'd experiment with it. I took a few pictures of what I did:

Weighed out the ingredients. Coconut oil is solid at room temperature. In the background is the measured portion of olive oil.

Ready to combine the two solutions. Oil on left, lye solution on right. They need to be roughly the same temperature when combined. (Lauren will recognize the cup in the background)

In the mold, aka a bread pan. Ta daa.... or not.

The end product looks yucky so far because the dyes and the lye did not go together. So it's kind of a brown mess. And I'm not sure the scent took either. I put quite a bit in, but it didn't really smell that much. So, this is perhaps a failure. I will have a better idea of what happened when I take it out of the mold in a couple of days and cut it.

I like making soap. Soon, I am going to try making detergent for clothes, and conditioning rinses for my hair. Not just because I love making useful things and saving money, but because I want to know what kind of chemicals I'm using for such things. I don't want all these other chemicals that aren't necessarily good for me being all over my skin on a daily basis.

Limbo

2012-01-25T17:03:00.001-07:00

My future is currently a cat in a box (like Schroedinger's cat). Will it be dead, or alive? I won't know until tomorrow. Hopefully my academic career isn't over. Hopefully I'm not a total failure. I can't really predict because I feel it went horribly. Too long and too detailed, my presentation. Who would have thought that would be a big problem? My self-esteem has eroded away.

Adorable Reindeer

2012-01-25T16:54:00.000-07:00

I found this pattern on ravelry and I knew I absolutely had to make one of these. I actually finished this over the Christmas break, but couldn't think of someone to give it to, and honestly, I wanted to keep it because I love cute plush toys. I want to make some more.

I think I made it better though. The original calls for a bobble kind of nose on the top (a la Rudolf) which looks stupid to me so I embroidered a more natural nose. Which is still a little off but I think it's cute anyway.

Wish me luck...?

2012-01-23T13:56:00.001-07:00

I have been purposely distracting myself in order to avoid thinking about my ERP tomorrow. I don't really feel ready for it even though I know my stuff (mostly) and am not entirely afraid of what might happen. My presentation looks kinda crappy to me but it looks okay compared to the example I have (which does not look crappy; it's a good one). I just don't want my body to go crazy on me the day before I have to give a big presentation, which I'm starting to think about again because I kind of have to work on it and make sure I don't look like a huge idiot when presenting. My other presentations were a piece of cake compared to this, not because of actual content, but because in the others I was presenting to undergrads, whereas this one will be given to my grad committee (professors and the department head). Yikes!

In other news, my blog has been getting lots of hits lately from my chibi witch cross-stitch, so I think I might post the other two of the same set that I've done recently. I need to get more of those...

Creaky joints

2012-01-12T09:49:00.002-07:00

Now my ERP has been pushed back to the week after next. So what do I do? Procrastinate. Actually my prof said I need to hand in that paper for that class after all (again, procrastination led to my not doing it) so I've been hurriedly writing that up. I'm almost done, since I could scavenge bits from my other papers, but there's extra things that I needed to add.

I'm feeling pretty old, or at least part of me is. About a week before Christmas I messed up my knee exercising, because apparently my muscles are capable of much more than my ligaments are. It's been weird ever since, and today the muscles are achy, probably from all those stairs I did yesterday. My left leg is sore from compensating (I assume) and in my left arm, all my joints hurt. I think the arm is from using the computer since I tend to lean on my left hand,.Also, if I use the computer too long, both of my wrists hurt from being positioned on the keyboard. And if I knit too long, my hands and fingers, shoulders, and back hurt. I think I'll probably get arthritis or something when I'm older. Well, I can't tell if it's because I'm horribly out of shape (but my WiiFit age consistently says I'm 20) or if I'm feeling the effects of age.

*sigh*

A sort of rant?

2012-01-09T12:37:00.001-07:00

My ERP is coming up (evaluation of research potential, kind of like a midterm exam for grad studies) next week and it's making me feel so terrible. I feel like I know nothing, like this past year has been a waste of time, like everything I've done is stupid and useless. It's going to be kind of hard to convince my committee that what I've been researching is worthwhile if I feel like this. But I don't all the time. I'm interested in it, I'm just getting too down on myself to see past my own insecurities. Worse, I think people think I'm better than I really am. I feel like I'm not putting nearly enough effort into my work. I feel like I've lost all my talent because I didn't use it enough. I can't make myself do anything any more. Everything feels like a chore.

And I'm procrastinating. I'm supposed to be done my paper (25+ pages) by tomorrow (self-imposed deadline, the kind that is never kept) and I'm probably about half done. Instead, all I want to do is knit, cross-stitch, or some other thing like cleaning. Between the three of us we cleaned the entire house this weekend, largely because I implemented new rules to make sure everyone does some cleaning. Which brings me to my next point:

I shouldn't have to be my roommate's mom. I'm not talking about my boyfriend, but his friend. All he does is go to work and play on his computer. I regrettably have experience with people like this, but I don't want to have to tell him "it's your turn to do dishes" or otherwise ask him to do chores he should know he has to do. He also has to constantly ask for help when cooking, to make sure he's doing it right and so on. Neither should my boyfriend feel it necessary to try and get him to do something with his life. As it is he works at a gas station, which, yeah, at least he's working, but he keeps saying he wants to do something else but hasn't really looked into it. And it's not my job or R.'s job to do something about it. It's not my job to tell him he needs to help with the chores, or to guide him on anything. R. seems to think that after we get married, if the roommate is still living with us, he will continue to live with us because it's our responsibility to take care of him. I say, not a chance. He can sink or swim on his own; it's not my job to raise him to succeed.

Back to my ERP. I'm hastily piecing together what I know, what I've done, and so on. It's like my presentations I worked on, which were mainly just pictures that I talked about that I threw together without really thinking about it. I did really well on those, and I put barely any effort in. So why am I so afraid of this ERP? I know stuff, but it's all disjointed and doesn't really make much of a point. It's interesting, but only because of where the location is, and the very weird geological stuff that goes on around there. I suppose I just feel inadequate.

Therapeutic

2012-01-06T14:48:00.002-07:00

I think blogging can be a kind of therapy. I was thinking about what became different from when I was less anxious until now, and it occurred to me that I had more or less stopped blogging on a frequent basis. It's a good way to coordinate my thoughts into cohesive statements; I can get out what I truly feel by first having to discover it myself. Sometimes I can write without truly understanding what I mean until I'm finished and, rereading it, have some sort of epiphany as to my current state of mind. So I think, from now on, or at least from now until my ERP exam on the 17th, I will try to write something here every couple of days, just to see how it makes me feel. I know few read it, but like I keep telling myself, that's not the point.

Christmas Crafts and Baking

2011-12-18T16:10:00.000-07:00

Since I learned how to make my grandma's Christmas cookies, my family has demanded that I make them every year. They're not hard to make but the recipe sure makes a lot of them. Fortunately, I have a lot of people to feed! I'm heading to my fiancee's family's place for Christmas this year, so I thought I'd bring cookies. So I also made shortbread, Mexican wedding cake (cookies), and regular sugar cookies. Today I also made ginger snaps. I think I'll probably gain 10 pounds over Christmas, which is not good but cookies are delicious and I gain weight every time I make them. However, I hope to give away most of them (already sent a bunch off to the rest of my family).

Also, some pictures of our tree, just for fun. We put it up mid-November, and there were even presents under it by then!

Lastly, I've gotten into soap making recently. I like to be as self-sufficient as possible, so this was a good thing to learn. It also makes great gifts for Christmas. Most of what I made is now gone, either because I used it or gave it away. The first batch I made was just oil and lye, and it made a nice plain soap. The second, I got a little more creative and added teatree oil and cloves. Both of these things are somewhat antibacterial/fungal, and are supposedly good for all sorts of things. I think they're good for a little extra cleansing, such as for acne, and the cloves provide a nice scrubby texture. For my next batch I'm trying cucumber melon.

Different

2011-12-04T11:04:00.001-07:00

I think the thing I feared most has happened to me. I never wanted to take medication for mental problems because I feared it would change me somehow, but as it turns out, I need meds for anxiety (currently, anyway). And I am different. I don't really think deeply anymore. Not like I used to, with profound thoughts about the nature of reality, the universe, etc. I just sit here and knit, or read textbooks, or work on my research. There's nothing else going on and that disturbs me greatly. I've locked that other part of me away. They say the drugs don't change you but they do.

Another month in photos

2011-11-26T15:02:00.000-07:00

A Science-y Science

2011-11-16T19:35:00.001-07:00

I've been really bad about updating this blog, haven't I. Well hopefully I'll get a few pictures up soon from halloween and some of the crafty things I've done recently (soap!). I've been very busy lately and it seems like it will never end. I have to constantly remind myself that this is my job and the amount of effort I put in to it is paying off. And it's looking like I'm maintaining a good average so that I can keep my funding (over 80%). It's stressful, but at least it's reasonable stress. I will mention, however, the subjectivity of geology. In a lab the other day we were looking at samples from lakes. Well, some of these samples were from lakes in Africa that I've been to. So it was nice, I could show off to my fellow students and whatnot by knowing what I was looking at. But one of the samples was cemented pisoids from some place in South America. I'm studying pisoidal calcrete, which is something essentially the same, with some differences. I was telling my group about what these were and how they form, when one of them asked the lab TA about it and he told them something very general which might not necessarily be the case for all pisoidal things. And it certainly isn't the case in my research, nor was it something I'd found in the literature. I'm not saying he was wrong, because he wasn't, but that there's so much more to the story (and I'm becoming an expert on that story, in particular), even at this level of studies. I'm finding that you have to fight for your interpretation because someone will have a different one. It sucks because I'm not that great at debate, at saying what I want to be said the first time saying it. If that made sense.

10 years

2011-10-24T21:07:00.002-06:00

I've had this blog for ten years. It's also my ten year high school grad reunion this June. Yikes, I feel old. Also I have interesting things to post, I just never get around to it. Busy with studies, taking courses, teaching, etc. I knew I would be.

A crafty weekend

2011-09-26T19:10:00.000-06:00

Last week I went and knit with a friend in a coffee shop. She had a nice bag for her knitting while I had an ugly reusable shopping bag. I decided that day that I would make a nice one I can take for next time. So I went to Fabricland and got the supplies, which only cost about $13.

I had found a nice design online so I figured out what to do, drew up a pattern and did some sewing. I added a pocket on the outside, which isn't done so well but it was the first time I had tried that technique. The zipper portion was a bit tricky and so it looks kind of messy but I'm quite happy with how the rest of it turned out. I didn't end up using the buttons which is too bad because I think they would have added a nice bit of contrast. Still, I have a cute bag for my knitting now.

The past month and a half in pictures

2011-09-14T13:09:00.000-06:00

Oh hey, it's an update

2011-08-29T14:51:00.000-06:00

Infrequent posting means I've been busy. No, that's not quite right. I've been uninspired. Uninspired to blog, anyway. I've made all sorts of things lately, and as you may know, I've recently been to Africa so I have all sorts of geology-related things going on inside my head. It's also taken my body this long to recuperate from that trip.

This semester is going to be very busy for me. I may not have time for anything other than my studies. I have two courses to take as well as a lab to teach (not sure which one yet), my samples have to be cleaned and processed to have tests done on them, and thin sectioned, and so on. I have to present a report on how my research is going so far in roughly two months, which is midterm season... there's probably something else I'm forgetting but that is a lot to deal with.

I've been writing in the mean time, coming up with explanations for things and reviewing literature, which is part of my eventual thesis.

My goal is to be done one year from today. It's going to be... interesting.

Sommerwind Shawl

2011-07-07T13:22:00.000-06:00

This is probably the prettiest thing I've made yet. Not sure if I'll keep it or give it to someone who would actually wear it.

Pattern from ravelry.

Yarn used: 2 balls of patons sequin lace.

Jesse & Eryn

2011-07-03T22:35:00.000-06:00

My little brother got married yesterday!

Awww. I stole this picture from facebook since surprisingly I did not take any pictures of my own. Okay, that's not so surprising since I was in the wedding party. More pictures to come!

And congratulations to them! It was such a beautiful wedding. It was in a sweet chapel in a park and was a very short ceremony. I had a lot of fun getting makeup done, hair done, and just generally all fancied up. And it was great to see the family members that came! I only wish I could have seen more of them, and more of my own family.

Missing?

2011-06-12T17:50:00.000-06:00

It's not that I've been away, it's that finally I have better things to do than be online. I have a life and people to do things with, finally. Plus, I joined Ravelry which is where I've been posting my finished projects, though I should continue to do so here since in order to see things you have to be a member.

So this blog may go updateless for long periods of time. Perhaps not. We'll see.

knock knock, anyone home?

2011-05-28T13:41:00.000-06:00

It's been a while.
In the past month, I've moved about three times. All my belongings are finally in one location and I do believe the moving-on (not moving-in... unpacking has yet to occur) process is complete. I now live at a house with fruit trees in the backyard. They're blooming so beautifully right now.
But due to the downstairs people being jackasses, we may have to move again. Because the suite downstairs isn't legal, which isn't uncommon, and they complained to the city about it in order to get a month's free rent. They've had an eviction notice and everything and been really not great neighbours. So the landlord now has to either renovate the downstairs to make it legal, or rent out the entire house. And we're left hanging while he decides that. It's a pain.

In other news, I finally know when I'm going to Kenya, tickets have been bought, appointments for immunizations scheduled. I'm kind of surprised that it's actually happening. I'm going to the other side of the planet!

I haven't been doing a lot of crafting lately, just working on the present for my bro and his soon-to-be-wife. I finally have my sewing machine though, I just need a place to use it.

30: What’s your name on Ravelry? If you don’t have a Ravelry account, why?

2011-04-30T21:27:00.001-06:00

I may have signed up for that once in the past. I don't use it because for a person like me who doesn't get involved in any online community, it doesn't matter where I post my stuff or what I do, I'm not going to get much feedback anyway. I look to real-life people for that.

THE END.

Now I can get on to posting slightly more interesting things.

Day 29: Do you have any tips, or things that you’ve learned from knitting?

2011-04-29T21:23:00.004-06:00

It's always better to go back and fix a mistake than keep going thinking it'll turn out okay.

If you put care into your projects and take your time doing them, they turn out better than projects completed in haste.

Bamboo needles are too bendy.

Things usually look a lot more difficult than they really are.

Day 28: Do you do any other crafts besides knitting? What are they, and did learning to knit come before or after learning these other crafts?

2011-04-28T21:20:00.000-06:00

I crochet, sew, make stuff out of paper, bake, sculpt things from polymer clay, and probably other things that I can't remember at the moment. I try new things all the time. I'm a crafty person, and always have been.

Day 26 & 27

2011-04-27T21:19:00.000-06:00

(Losing the gumption to post here. I'm also going away for the weekend yay!)

Day 26: Have you ever been a part, or wanted to be a part of a knit-a-long? What was it? If not, why?

I've wanted to. I never have though. I fly solo.

Day 27: How do you acquire most of yarn? Online retailers, local yarn shops, swaps, or large chain craft stores? What’s your favorite?

Various places. Mostly walmart, michaels and zellers, sadly, but I go to local yarn shops when I can. I haven't tried getting yarn online yet, but that will probably happen someday when I have money.

Totally behind catch-up post. (Days 21-25)

2011-04-25T13:02:00.000-06:00

Day 21: Do you knit gifts for friends and family for the holidays or birthdays?
Yep! I've knit my family christmas gifts two years in a row now, and I don't think I'll stop.

Day 22: Have you ever stricken someone off your to-knit-for list because they didn’t appreciate/take care of your last knitted gift to them?
No. But I know the people I make things for appreciate the things I make.

Day 23: If you had the supplies (and patience) for it, what project would you start today?

This. I will make it one day, when I have money for the yarn.

Day 24: Have you ever made your own pattern or dyed your own yarn? How did it turn out?
Made my own pattern, yes. I do that quite a bit. I usually have to remake it at least once to get it exactly right, but usually the things I make turn out pretty good. One day I will make my own yarn and dye it. I just need the money and time.

Day 25: Do you have a knitting book or a place where you keep patterns, ideas, size measurements? Post a picture of it!
Hmm, not really. I use my general sketchbook for that. I may take pictures when I get home but probably not.

Day 20: Do you knit in public? Was anyone offended/incredibly happy/curious that you were doing so?

2011-04-20T22:18:00.000-06:00

(Oops, got a little behind on this.)

I usually take my knitting with me on the bus when I'm travelling. I don't really notice if anyone is gawking at me. They are more likely to be worried that I'm going to stab them with my needles or something. I think the only other time I knit in public is around family, and they just kind of watch what I'm doing with mild interest.

Day 19: Do you watch movies and/or listen to podcasts while knitting? What are your favorite things to knit to?

2011-04-20T22:16:00.000-06:00

I watch TV DVDs. Most often I've watched Smallville, Stargate SG-1, Everybody Loves Raymond, Cheers, but there are so many others. Mainly sitcoms, I think. I can't stand just sitting there watching TV while not doing anything else. I have to be crafting or drawing or folding laundry, too.

Day 18: Do you knit English or Continental?

2011-04-18T22:10:00.001-06:00

English. (That's where the yarn is in your right hand.) I crochet with the yarn in my left, though.

Day 17: Have you ever had a project that you loved become ruined? What’s the story behind it?

2011-04-17T22:23:00.000-06:00

Not once it's been finished. Not that I can recall, anyway. I have ruined a couple projects by screwing up the pattern and had to frog it and start over, but that's happened to everyone at least once. A cat ruined some of my 100% wool roving. He just wanted to play with it... darn cat.

Day 16: Have you ever had a knitting related injury?

2011-04-16T17:48:00.000-06:00

Ha! Yes, I have. I guess I don't have that good of posture when I knit, because sometimes I manage to hurt my back doing so. It goes away overnight, thankfully. I don't think I've ever stabbed myself with knitting needles, but that does sound like something I'd do. I think also my fingers have gotten sore from knitting too much.

Day 15: What was your least favorite pattern and why?

2011-04-15T17:43:00.000-06:00

I can't say I have a least favourite pattern. I've seen boring patterns, poorly-written patterns, and just plain ugly patterns but for those, I've either figured out what to do or simply not made what the pattern was for. I will admit, though, that I dislike knitting lace from a chart. I'd much rather have a written description of what to do.

Day 14: What’s the worst yarn/fiber that you’ve worked with and why?

2011-04-14T12:50:00.000-06:00

Baby Monkey Yarn. Don't get me wrong, it is the softest most wonderful feeling yarn I've ever used. Knitting it may have been okay. But crocheting it using a dark colour? Forget about it. I couldn't tell where my stitches were so what I made from it turned out to be not the shape I wanted. I'm pretty sure knitting it would have been fine, unless a stitch was dropped.

Day 13: Do you have yarn that you love but can’t find a project for?

2011-04-13T23:15:00.000-06:00

Yes. Who doesn't! I'm bad and buy random yarn sometimes. Unfortunately, I don't have it with me and I don't quite remember what it is otherwise I'd find a picture of it.

Day 12: Where do you keep your stash? Post pictures!

2011-04-12T22:32:00.001-06:00

Umm... I do not currently have access to my yarn stash. But the yarn I have with me is kept in a rubbermaid in a horrible state of disarray. I should take a picture of that...

Yep. Not so nice to look at, is it. I miss my other yarn :(

Day 11: Do you have a “Knitter Hero” or someone that is just way too awesome for their own good? Do share!

2011-04-11T20:51:00.000-06:00

Hmm. I don't really know any other people that knit all that well aside from:

Elizabeth, a fellow grad student, whose work can be seen here: Twisted Bark Toques

and some relatives. I also have a few people I link to over on the right sidebar.

Day 10: Do you have a favorite pattern or designer?

2011-04-10T15:26:00.000-06:00

Well that's simple. Nope.

Since that's a lame post, I will add that I go to these sites for their free patterns:

Knitty
Knitting Pattern Central

Day 9: What fiber or yarn do you love working with?

2011-04-09T22:47:00.000-06:00

Currently I really like working with Bernat Mosaic yarn. Yeah it's 100% acrylic, but it's got some fun colours. I just bought some rainbow yarn ('Psychedelic') that I can't wait to make something out of.

pic from here

Aside from that, I loooove alpaca yarn. It is so soft. I want my own alpaca one day so I can make yarn from its hair. And a sheep! And a goat! Yes that's right, I want a farm.

pic from here

Day 8: What’s your most challenging project?

2011-04-08T19:50:00.000-06:00

Well thus far it has been constructing my knitted dragon. Since I made the pattern myself, it was quite challenging to figure out how to get the shapes I wanted. The wings were particularly tricky, as I'd never attempted to do what I did for them, which was picking up stitches along each row. It was a bit fiddly but they turned out exactly as I wanted them to.

Now I just have to someday actually write up the pattern, and, oh yeah, maybe FINISH the thing. Since it hasn't changed since I took the above picture.

Day 7: Your least favorite?

2011-04-07T21:44:00.000-06:00

That would have to be... oh, I can't think of anything.

*thinks*

Nope, I've got nothing. Maybe one of the hats I made without a pattern, but I still like those.

Day 6: What is your favorite piece that you’ve knit?

2011-04-06T23:39:00.000-06:00

The shawl/poncho I made for my cousin, Kim! Even though it took forever to make, it was challenging and something I made for someone else. It had lots and lots of cables, and an interesting pattern. Since this is the only picture I could find of it, here it is modelled by her son:

Day 5: How long did it take from the time you learned how to knit, to finish your first project?

2011-04-05T16:48:00.000-06:00

If I go by the first time I learned, that would be about 11 or so years. But once I relearned, probably only a few months. At first I didn't know how to hold the needles properly, but I was pretty fast at it even so. After a while, I forced myself to hold them "properly", and then from there I began knitting like crazy.

Day 4: How did you learn how to knit?

2011-04-04T16:42:00.001-06:00

Well I don't quite remember this, but one of my grandparents taught me when I was very young (6, 7, 8?). My brain tells me it was my grandpa but that may not be right. Anyway, I knit a 3"x8" piece of garter stitch fabric from colourful christmas yarn and that was it.

Then, in 2004, I decided that I wanted to (re)learn how to knit. So I went and got a book (a Reader's Digest one) and read it, bought the supplies, and knit myself a scarf. I'm not sure whether to say I'm self-taught or not though.

Day 3: Do you have any other WIPs (works in progress)?

2011-04-03T15:44:00.001-06:00

Yes.
I'm working on:

an afghan (probably about 1/3 done). It has to be finished in June.
Another amigurumi creature
A cross-stitched stocking

As a side note, I merged this blog with my other one. I'm not sure why. Oh, and I updated the "finished projects" page to include pictures. Yay.

Day 2: What is currently on your needles?

2011-04-02T16:25:00.001-06:00

Ah! Embarrassingly nothing. I am currently working on a crochet afghan though. I don't really even have a planned next project to knit, either. Wow, something must be wrong with me! Ha.

Day 1: What was your first finished project?

2011-04-01T13:37:00.002-06:00

As with many knitters, my first project was a garter-stitch scarf, finished in 2004. It's easy and gives repetition to get the technique right. Except half way I decided I wanted to learn how to purl, so there's one line of stockinette. It's a fantastic scarf and I use it still.

(Picture not mine, but it is pretty much the same, same colour even.)

30 days of knitting

2011-03-28T00:40:00.019-06:00

I found a 30-day knitting meme so I think I'm going to do it. Starting... the 1st of April, maybe. Or tomorrow.

Day 1: What was your first finished project?

Day 2: What is currently on your needles?

Day 3: Do you have any other WIPs (works in progress)?

Day 4: How did you learn how to knit?

Day 5: How long did it take from the time you learned how to knit, to finish your first project?

Day 6: What is your favorite piece that you’ve knit?

Day 7: Your least favorite?

Day 8: What’s your most challenging project?

Day 9: What fiber or yarn do you love working with?

Day 10: Do you have a favorite pattern or designer?

Day 11: Do you have a “Knitter Hero” or someone that is just way too awesome for their own good? Do share!

Day 12: Where do you keep your stash? Post pictures!

Day 13: Do you have yarn that you love but can’t find a project for?

Day 14: What’s the worst yarn/fiber that you’ve worked with and why?

Day 15: What was your least favorite pattern and why?

Day 16: Have you ever had a knitting related injury?

Day 17: Have you ever had a project that you loved become ruined? What’s the story behind it?

Day 18: Do you knit English or Continental?

Day 19: Do you watch movies and/or listen to podcasts while knitting? What are your favorite things to knit to?

Day 20: Do you knit in public? Was anyone offended/incredibly happy/curious that you were doing so?

Day 21: Do you knit gifts for friends and family for the holidays or birthdays?

Day 22: Have you ever stricken someone off your to-knit-for list because they didn’t appreciate/take care of your last knitted gift to them?

Day 23: If you had the supplies (and patience) for it, what project would you start today?

Day 24: Have you ever made your own pattern or dyed your own yarn? How did it turn out?

Day 25: Do you have a knitting book or a place where you keep patterns, ideas, size measurements? Post a picture of it!

Day 26: Have you ever been a part, or wanted to be a part of a knit-a-long? What was it? If not, why?

Day 27: How do you acquire most of yarn? Online retailers, local yarn shops, swaps, or large chain craft stores? What’s your favorite?

Day 28: Do you do any other crafts besides knitting? What are they, and did learning to knit come before or after learning these other crafts?

Day 29: Do you have any tips, or things that you’ve learned from knitting?

Day 30: What’s your name on Ravelry? If you don’t have a Ravelry account, why?

Flip Flop Socks!

2011-03-27T23:30:00.004-06:00

These took hardly any time at all to make! So happy :D I plan on wearing them in my office when my feet get cold. I think the reason I didn't think they took too long is because a) I'm actually a pretty fast knitter and b) the colours were fun to knit.

Materials: Kroy Sock Yarn, Color "Summer Moss"

Pattern: Lickety Split from Knitty.

Run away, run away

2011-03-20T22:15:00.002-06:00

Well I started to make these socks today and I've already got probably 1/2 of one done. They're toe-up socks, which I'd never tried before. I'm making them because I want to wear flip flops at my office but sometimes my feet will be cold. So... split toe socks.

That said, I feel like everything I do is just an escape. Because if I ever sit down and think about things, I feel too awful to do anything. Does it ever get better?

Crafts of late...

2011-03-15T18:31:00.004-06:00

Sometimes I just want to make hats. They're fast and easy.

Pink and White convertible hat
I found this pattern in crochet form from April Draven (look in my links, I'm lazy for now), but I wanted to knit so I converted it into knit form. I might post the pattern later. It's pretty simple.

Slouchy Crochet Hat
Just a random crochet hat. It's a bit big.

And what's this? Another creature? We'll see. I may not ever finish it, poor little guy.

Swish, swoop, etc.

2011-03-03T21:39:00.003-07:00

I forgot to post this a while ago. I drew this picture for my brother's birthday card. I hope he liked it. I don't think I'd ever tried to draw a real animal before, in this style. I think it turned out pretty good.

just my inner editor breaking out and wreaking havoc

2011-03-03T00:07:00.004-07:00

I am obsessed with grammar. Published things must be entirely correct in their word and punctuation usage. That's not so much to ask, right? Well...

I have this friend. Or, I should say, had. Anyway. She wrote a novella and put it up for sale online. Because I enjoy what she writes, I bought it. And then I read it, and as I read it, I edited.

It's a compulsion. I edit the scientific papers I read, too.

However, now I have a dilemma. Should I send my edited version to this person, with the hope that she will take some of my edits and improve her novella (bad grammar can make even the best story look bad), or should I do nothing and go against all of my impulses?

See, part of me asks, What right do I have in sending her my unasked-for edited version? And anyway, I am far removed from this person's life. It would be weird.

I also know that she wants for this to be her career, and I know that if she doesn't learn that she needs to improve her grammar, she won't get anywhere. And I do want to help. None of this is motivated by oneupmanship or anything like that.

Yeah, just confused about things. I like to make problems for myself.

To Do

2011-02-28T22:16:00.005-07:00

-Finish reading the four textbooks I have taken out from the library
-Choose areas from samples for thin sections
-Learn how to prepare sample for isotope testing
-Mark monday's labs
-Read accumulated stack of papers
-Prepare for B.A.T. on friday
-Prepare next week's lab lecture
-Hide from -40*C weather
-Eat
-Sleep
-Caffeinate

Randomly random

2011-02-27T20:02:00.003-07:00

Someone once told me I looked like Regina Spektor. What do you think?

I mean, aside from the big lips part of it I think I can see myself in there. It's kind of weird. Apparently I look Russian. Most of the people I look like are Russian.

Works In Progress

2011-02-09T23:37:00.002-07:00

So I've come a long way on this stocking in the six months I've been working on it, but I think this is where it will end for now. It needs a name for me to finish it further.

A blanket. Or, the beginning of a blanket. OOooh, aaaah.

And now, for some wintery pictures I took recently:

Amigurumi Creature

2011-02-09T22:46:00.006-07:00

I made this guy on a whim. The pattern was for a lamb, but because of the colours and the modifications I made it looks like a random creature. I used a yarn called "baby monkey" (very very soft) that I got 90% off from a yarn store, and $1 yarn from the dollar store.

rain in february

2011-02-05T00:03:00.005-07:00

My life is reading. I read. That's what I do. In my official office on the second floor (shared with about 9 other people).

Oh, and I love it. That's the best part.

Now let's just hope I perform competently during the data-gathering and analysis stage of this.

yawn

2011-01-25T16:30:00.002-07:00

I am still having enormous difficulty sleeping. Last night I tried something new. I got the extra mattress so my bed would be more comfortable, put my alarm where I'd have to get out of bed to turn it off, and went to bed at an appropriate time. I tossed and turned for a while, but I managed to sleep. It almost worked. I only slept in half an hour. But once I'd showered and eaten, I found I could no longer keep my eyes open and gave in to having a nap that lasted 3 hours.

I just don't know what is causing this and why I am so tired all the time. Call it hypersomnia, somnolence, delayed sleep phase disorder, whatever. I looked them up and yeah it's a side effect of the medication I'm on, and I did feel perma-tired before, but why is it all of a sudden worse?

So frustrated with my uncooperative body.

A Surprise

2011-01-18T23:06:00.003-07:00

I got Purdy's chocolates in the mail today, sent by Rob. He's so sweet.

In other news, I am finding it very difficult to sleep at normal times. I just can't get up early; I set my alarm and it goes off but I am too exhausted to do anything and I know that since I have to use my brain to read papers, it's useless to deprive myself of sleep just to spend three hours staring at one page of what might as well be gibberish. I hope I can get back on track soon.

Adventures

2011-01-13T20:22:00.005-07:00

I moved in to my temporary office today, which I appear to be sharing with two undergrad students, one of whom was in many of my classes. I also have my very own mailbox at the university! I'll probably take a picture of where I will be working from now until who knows when because it's a little un-office like since it's in a storage room. And right beside the rock mechanics lab, which apparently gets pretty noisy. But, it's a place to do my work where I won't be bothered too much.

And on Monday, I stood up in front of a class and told them what to do. It was kind of weird. Then when I was done my talking, they swarmed me with questions. And you know what? I was okay. I fumbled a bit, probably wasn't loud enough, but I made it. Here's hoping next week's goes okay too.

I just wish it wasn't so cold (fat chance, in Saskatchewan). I can walk from where I live in 20 minutes, but it's too far to go below -25*C.

Well, tomorrow I need to get some more paperwork done, read yet more papers, and attend the weekly seminar.

Not going as planned...

2011-01-08T23:19:00.004-07:00

Well, I made it to Sask, and now I'm sitting in my room in a shared basement suite surrounded by things I have yet to unpack.

I am officially a grad student. Yay? We'll see. Turns out there are no available desks in the regular student offices so I've been allocated a space in the dungeon-like palaeontology storage room (it's surprisingly used as an office by others as well). And I have to teach a Geo122 lab (36 students) on monday, even though I have no reading material, no idea what the lab is going to be about. Nor have I actually taken the class, since I took first-year geology at COTR. Oh, and my advisor is in South Africa until the 21st so all I've really got to do until then is read papers.

Yep... it'll be interesting.

Oh, and I applied for a geologist job in Cranny, and only after I was two provinces away did I get notified that they'd like me to come in for an informal interview. Figures, right?

Beginning...

2011-01-05T01:11:00.003-07:00

New year, new chapter.

I'm all packed (mostly) and ready to go. When I awake, I'll be off to Saskatchewan. It seems surreal but I'm so excited for the future. Even though I dread some things because I know they'll hurt... but they must be done.

With any luck, it'll all go as planned.

Here comes my future as grad student.

2010

2010-12-31T21:19:00.003-07:00

What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
2010 was a little foggy--the thing I remember most is going on meds for my anxiety. I also visited the Great Lakes region, and drove across most of the continent to get there. I also planted my own vegetable garden, though I don't really know how it turned out.

Did you keep your new year's resolutions?
Hmm, likely not.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
My cousin Robin did, and more will soon follow!

Did anyone close to you die?
No, thankfully.

What countries did you visit?
Canada (BC, Alberta, Sask) and the US (Michigan, Wisconsin).

What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Something to do that uses my brain.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Umm... this year kind of sucked really. I suppose it was overcoming my depression (eh, still ongoing) and getting a job and making money and planning for the future, instead of giving up.

What was your biggest failure?
I couldn't make things work with my ex boyfriend.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
Well for most of the year I felt unable to do much of anything.

What was the best thing you bought?
A plane ticket to Fort St. John :)

Where did most of your money go?
Food, Student Loans. And knitting supplies. Heh heh heh. I'm way into this fiber arts thing.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Nothing. Well I got excited about seeing Rob again, but not really x3. I don't think I've ever been really x3 excited about anything.

What song(s) will always remind you of 2010?
Epica's Design Your Universe CD.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) Happier or sadder? It's a toss-up.
b) Thinner or fatter? About the same, actually. Finally!
c) Richer or poorer? Quite possibly richer, since I've actually paid off some of my debt!

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Working, since I only worked 6/12 months. Also enjoying the outdoors. I did quite a bit of it, but once you hit winter, you just can't help but think it wasn't enough.

How did you spend New Year's Eve?
Well, tonight I witnessed my dad's first solo fireworks show out at Wasa which was awesome! Aside from that I'm going to read and wait for the phone to ring, just in case.

Did you fall in love in 2010?
You know, I think I did...

What was the best book you read?
Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis. It was deeply philosophical.

What was your greatest musical discovery?
I started listening to Brad Paisley. I blame my brother.

What was your favorite film of this year?
How to Train Your Dragon! Cute film, with a great story and... dragons!

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 26, and I went shopping. I had just come home from Fort St John, and I had a bit of extra money so I thought I would get some new pants.

Here's hoping 2011 is a better year. I'm thinking it's going to be. I'm heading to Saskatoon to begin my Master's degree in a few days, and I've got funding and a place to live. 2011 is the beginning of a new adventure.

More socks!

2010-12-15T19:53:00.001-07:00

Socks for my mom. She requested slippers, but I'm sick of making those. Socks are way more fun! And hopefully she'll like them just as much. I made these out of special sock yarn bought from a local store. Expensive! As you can see, I'm not quite done yet. I burned my fingers baking cookies today, otherwise they'd be finished by now. Pattern is from here

Update: finished these, but no new pictures.

Scarf

2010-12-15T19:50:00.000-07:00

Since they moved to a darn cold place, I figured Andrew and Jenna could use some warm things, so, thick warm crocheted scarf for Jenna! Just hdc all the way. Modelled by the ever so cute Jerry.

The pie hat

2010-12-15T19:45:00.000-07:00

This is the hat I made for Eryn for Christmas. I conjured up this pattern because I thought the idea of cables that decreased in size as they went along was kind of neat. I may write up this pattern for use later. Can be worn as a beret or toque style.

polymer clay pets

2010-12-15T19:37:00.000-07:00

I've had this idea for a while, but only got around to it now. I wanted to make this a christmas present and I still might. But they're so cute, I want to keep them! ^_^

Plautdietsche

2010-12-14T21:13:00.000-07:00

My dad's side of the family is just plain German, and spoke High German. My mom's side appears to be German-Russian Mennonite. My mom's parents, and that generation of that side of the family, all speak Plautdietsch, which is Mennonite Low German. Somehow, I got to researching it today, and I found some interesting words from my childhood. Oddly, it's not my grandparents I recall saying these things but my aunt.

Firstly, she always called us this:
Wribbelwrips - m. a small, fidgety child.
Understandable.

And there's a meal called this:
Schmollvat (sp?)
Which translates to lard fat (okay?) but refers to a cream sauce made from condensed milk.

Lastly, I'd like to mention my favourite food. Now, I've looked it up before, and in Russian it is spelled "Varenyky" which doesn't sound much like how we pronounce it. Then I found this:

Wreninkje - f. cottage cheese pockets;

That's how we pronounce it! (for the most part) Yay, mystery solved.

Dictionary source here.

writing...

2010-12-12T22:24:00.000-07:00

Wrote a bit more. These scenes seem uninteresting to me. I think I should skip them until I find them interesting. Or should I not do that? I guess it doesn't matter, since it's highly unlikely anyone will ever read it through to the end. I might not even get to the end, ha.

Anyway, now at 46,907 words. I'm surprised I took time out of making christmas presents to write. It's getting kind of close...

Flying by the seat of my pants

2010-12-10T23:05:00.001-07:00

Kind of starting to freak out a little... I still haven't arranged accomodation, nor have I found out for sure whether or not I've received the graduate teaching fellowship. Not only that, I realized that based on what I make from the GTF, I won't actually be able to afford tuition other than this first semester. OH JOY!

Now entering the next 24 months of stress. Ah, the life of a student. I really hope I'm not going to go into more debt for this. I love geology, but I'm not sure I'm going to be using my degree when I get it. Lately I've come to the realization that I kind of just want to do the mom thing. But it'll take time to get there, and I might as well do something while I'm waiting.

Heading East again, I guess...

2010-11-24T19:45:00.001-07:00

I have been officially accepted to do my Master's degree at UofS. Hooray! (Took them long enough.) Now, hopefully I actually get the funding I was supposed to...

Silliness in writing

2010-11-11T00:04:00.000-07:00

It's been about three months since I last wrote anything, but today I finally did some work on my book. It was nice. Every time I write, I feel silly for not writing more often. I wish I could make myself do it more often. It's a familiar lament.

Anyway, it was a little silly of a scene which I'm not sure if I was able to pull off or not. I sure felt silly after writing it.

Now at 46073 words.

Busy like a bee

2010-11-07T12:18:00.000-07:00

I've been crafting quite a bit lately. I suppose it comes from not having a lot to do (aside from work). I don't mind one bit. I wish I could get paid to do this! But I guess I'm just not motivated enough to enter a craft sale, or come up with patterns to publish.

At any rate, please check below for three new things I've made!

As a regular life update, I'm going to do some travelling this next week. I'm heading to Vancouver with my brother and his fiance, who are going there for some wedding business, then getting picked up by my other brother who I will be helping relocate to Fort St. John, where he's been hired by Spectra Energy. I'm also going there to see my special someone. Isn't it convenient for my brother to be hired in such a place? I think so. I am not, however, looking forward to spending four entire days in a vehicle of some sort. I'm taking the bus home, which is a 27 hour trip. Ah well. It'll be worth it. I just have to get rid of two more shifts, and then I won't get in trouble from work...

That said, here is a picture of my window sill garden. Bamboo and China Rose. They're doing pretty good considering I'm the one looking after them. I have a tendency to kill house plants.

Amigurumi Dragonet

2010-11-07T11:56:00.000-07:00

I've been working on this little guy since August, I think. I'm not sure I like making such small things. He's 2 inches tall, and there are so many little pieces to make and sew on. But I guess that's my own fault for deciding to make it all in little pieces instead of bigger pieces. I think I may put out a pattern for this, but I will change some things first, such as the wings and arms (which just look like little blobs to me). I'm going to try and make the legs, body, and tail all in one piece and see how that works out. I'll probably change the wings to felt wings, and make the head and muzzle one piece. I think I've got a lot to learn about simplifying my designs.

Pixie Hat

2010-11-07T11:47:00.000-07:00

I felt like making a hat, so... I made a hat. I think it's cute. Pattern from April Draven. Crocheted using blue Red Heart eco-yarn recycled yarn (so soft!) and white Bernat alpaca yarn. It was going to only be blue, but I ran out just before finishing, so I chose white, and embroidered it to blend in.

Crochet Doily

2010-11-07T11:35:00.000-07:00

I like trying to make new things, and one day I was inspired to make something using a steel crochet hook and fine thread. So I made a doily. Doilies are quite nice, actually. I think this one's going to my grandma for Christmas. Made using this pattern. Please excuse the threads sticking out, I haven't quite yet figured out how to weave those in without ruining the design.

Why I Don't Like Santa

2010-11-01T23:44:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I can be a bit of a downer. I think too much; I analyze the stuffing out of everything. Perhaps combining that with an awful cashier job during the Christmas rush can be blamed for turning me into a scrooge. Perhaps it's the result of my adult mind crushing the whimsical fantasia of youth. Most likely, like all good scientific answers, it's a combination of both.

During my bombardment of secular Christmas images, courtesy of selling thousands of disposable dollar-store decorations, I began thinking about Santa Claus. Why so many images of this fat, red-robed old man? Santas everywhere, it's as if we're worshipping him.

And then I realized, we are worshipping Santa.

Think about this: We make prayers to Santa. As children, we write letters asking Santa for things we want. We give offerings to Santa: Cookies and milk for Santa, and carrots for the reindeer. Santa has omnipotent character: "He sees you when you're sleeping" etc. Santa will reward the righteous (toys) and punish the evil (lump of coal).

Santa Claus, whether you want to believe it or not, is a god. Perhaps a children's god, but a god nonetheless.

Which is why, when I see Santa images all over the place, I cringe. We're allowing--encouraging!--our children to naively believe in a false god. Hello, golden bull/calf, or whatever that was in the bible (unfortunately, I'm not too knowledgable about that). Though I'm not very religious, I have a hard time reconciling a Christian's belief that there is only one God, with them then allowing other made-up deities to be worshipped.

That said, I don't think I'll be doing the Santa thing with my kids, if I ever have any. All other reasons aside, I don't like the thought of worshipping a false god.

Mmm cookies

2010-10-25T21:44:00.001-06:00

I decided to bake some cookies today. Hazelnut swirl cookies. DELICIOUS. (Recipe)

And here is a random collection of nature (plus candles) that makes its home on my dresser.

TOTORO!

2010-10-25T21:31:00.000-06:00

I finally finished him! Yes, though he is pink, he is a he. If you've never seen it, you should watch My Neighbor Totoro. It's by Miyazaki, the same guy who did Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke and a bunch of others. Anyway it is a great movie.

The pattern is from here.

Materials used: some sort of on-sale wool from Italy, alpaca yarn, felt, embroidery thread, cat brush to brush wool.

Tiiired...

2010-10-11T13:33:00.000-06:00

All I've been doing is working, work work work. I'm on day 6 of 10 or more (since I started working a second job, doing hot tub stuff for my uncle). What's funny is that I'm broke. I don't really like having to work this hard to barely make ends meet. I mean, I only have a few bills and I can barely keep on top of them as it is.

It's so frustrating to not have money to be able to do the things I want. I maintain that money is evil.

Egyptian Falcon

2010-10-03T17:13:00.000-06:00

Finished! It didn't take me that long, probably because I did some every day. I like it, but I'm not quite sure what to do with it now. Maybe I'll make a pillow out of it.

Here's what I'm working on next:

Should be done soon, just need to put the eyes and arms on! I'm so excited about this one.

2010-09-27T20:42:00.001-06:00

I went on my trip, and it was great. I did not want to come back. From what I saw of northern BC, FSJ is itself ugly, but the surrounding area, the Peace River valley, is quite nice. Lots of leafy trees that were changing colour. For some reason, I did not take any pictures though I brought my camera. I don't know what's wrong with me; perhaps I was spoiled by the nice SLR camera I had access to and just don't want to go back to my point-and-shoot thing.

Anyway, on my trip I was introduced to Chuck and Fringe (Chuck is awesome, Fringe was creepy) and dug potatoes, and other things. It was nice to get away, though my friend's mom didn't seem to like me very much, and confronted me about it. She scolded me, telling me I needed to become a social person. Actually, because of the way she was treating us, we went and stayed with his friends instead. I feel kind of bad about that, despite him assuring me it was not my fault.

So now I've been back to work for a few days and I'm back to being miserable. I hate my job. It's mindless and unfulfilling. I've come quite close to just walking out, but that's nothing new.

In other news, I bought myself a houseplant, and I finally have a doorknob on my bathroom door! yay.

Let's see how it goes.

2010-09-14T23:05:00.000-06:00

I have officially applied at U of S to do my Master's in Geology. Hooray! I also heard from my prof that I will most likely be given a graduate teaching fellowship. That will pay my living expenses, and I'll have to TA a couple courses. As nervous as I usually am, I'm actually quite excited by this. Hopefully I'll actually get in!

I don't see why I wouldn't though. If they're willing to give me funding, chances are good they're willing to let me in. At any rate: grad school here I come! (in January, anyway)

2010-09-06T21:43:00.000-06:00

Tickets are booked, time off has been given. Looks like I'm heading up north for the week preceding my birthday. Silly me, I've still got negative funds. What am I thinking, really?

In other news, a new yarn store has opened up in town, called Ellie Bay Yarn & Shoe Repair. I can't wait to go see what they've got, but I should probably have money before I do, because I just know I'm going to spend money there. Provided the prices are decent, of course.

I also made a trip to the library and found a new project to do. It's from this book:

I've got most of the supplies for a falcon design, I just need a few more colors of floss. Another thing that'll have to wait until I get some more money. Ah well, I've got lots to do otherwise.

Tree

2010-08-25T17:58:00.000-06:00

Excuse the crappy picture. This is the tree from the backyard in Saskatoon, except stylized. Look close, there's a bird and some seed things in there too. Ah, black and white is my friend.

Knit Dragon WIP 3

2010-08-23T14:38:00.000-06:00

Finished the enormous legs! I love giant feet. They might be a bit too giant though. I think also that the arms will have to be bigger. Other than that I'm happy with it.

Next to do: figure out what I did and write up a pattern, so I can make another one and make it all pretty looking.

Up early on a nice day isn't so bad.

2010-08-20T11:51:00.000-06:00

At my new job, I like the people but the work kind of sucks. Fortunately I will only be experiencing small doses of it at one time. I'm now a cashier, able to ring people through on my own and everything. Yay.

Fortunately the second half of my shift today cancelled out the anger of the first half. The computer modules nearly made me angry enough to walk out. Not because the computer was acting up or anything, but because of the content. It just pissed me off.

I think I'll survive this. I'll just have to distract myself with my hobbies instead.

I'm working on my knitted dragon again. I've got the wings finished and the pattern written down, now all I have to do is design a foot. Shouldn't be too hard, right? I guess we'll see.

New Thing

2010-08-17T22:43:00.001-06:00

I am employed again. Hopefully it won't suck too bad. Orientation is tomorrow. My new mantra is 'I will be able to pay my bills'. It ruins all my plans though, and now I'm not quite sure what I should look forward to.

Aside from that, I just got back from Michigan. Me, my dad and brothers were there for racing. Unfortunately my dad's car decided to have everything go wrong with it that one weekend so my dad didn't get to race, which was quite disappointing, but what can you do. There's always the next race. We also had some fireworks, flew over Lake Michigan, and went to Phoenix (airport).

At the moment, all I want to do is sleep.

So much for that idea...

2010-08-11T20:55:00.000-06:00

I couldn't book a plane ticket and I don't have enough money for the bus, so I guess I'm not going where I want to be.

Ah, the wonderful universe is taunting me. I wish things weren't so damn hard.

What have I got to look forward to now, besides this weekend? Oh that's right, nothing.

On the slightly less dark side, my interview went well. Not that I want to be a cashier again.

And just when I'd actually made some sort of decision, too. Figures.

I just want to give up on everything today.

These aren't really problems, in the grand scheme of things

2010-08-10T23:26:00.000-06:00

There are a few things I need to work out. Might as well do that here.

Okay. Firstly, I have no job. I have been trying half-heartedly to get one since I quit my job in February, with no luck. I didn't want to work in Saskatoon because I knew what I needed to do, and I knew I had to get out of there. It took me a very long time to do that. Now I'm in Cranny, looking for work again, a little more desperately though. Thus far I have had no luck as well, despite applying to several actively hiring employers. Some of the postings for which I had applied have since been re-posted, adding insult to the growing fear that no one will hire me, ever.

So that's my situation. Now. I have been planning on going to see a friend in northern BC for a while now, and I just recently realized I can use my air miles to help me do so. I have very little money remaining, though he has kindly offered to pay for some of it. Perhaps I should explain the nature of our relationship. We're... close. I want to pursue things with him. We tried things once, and I screwed it up but I've since matured. Anyway, we desperately need to see each other.

I may look for work while there, as long as I'm welcome to stay where he is.

I'm just not sure what to do. Do I take a chance at happiness and go, or do I stay here, miserable and alone, barely existing?

I think my wording speaks for me. I know what I want to do, what I should do. I'm not a risk taker by nature but I think this is one time it'll benefit me. Somehow, we'll make it work. Even though I'm a jobless loser who is apparently "immature and irresponsible", in the words of my mother.

She does not approve of my proposed sojourn. Of course she doesn't know the whole story, and the parts she does know probably seem like sudden happenings to her because I've only recently revealed them. But it would make things so much easier to me, my decision so much easier to make, if someone other than my friend supported me about this. Particularly the people with whom I currently live.

I know I need a job. I do. But it just isn't happening right now. Besides that, I've been feeling just awful lately, and by lately I mean for over a year. I'm slowly recovering from whatever depression I have been in but it's a long process. So I'm going to do what I can to gain a little bit of happiness. Is that so wrong? Even those who suffer from mental illness still cannot fully understand another's plight.

I'll probably book my trip tomorrow. I have an interview with wal-mart tomorrow, but from what I hear, they make you go through 3 interviews and that will take longer than I can bear. And besides, they may be fine with me not being able to start until late August. I'll just have to ask. With any luck, things will work out just fine.

This weekend, I'm going to Michigan anyway, for racing and my dad's 50th birthday. Is that unwise? I think not. Nor is my trip elsewhere. Bah.

New cross-stitch project

2010-08-09T17:13:00.001-06:00

A little while ago I needed something to do while at my parents' house, so my mom handed me a stocking to cross-stitch. Originally it was to be for my brother, but it has since been relegated to my future spouse. This may be bad luck, though I can't finish it until I have a name to put on it. At any rate, it's an interesting design that I quite like.

Guardian Angel

2010-08-05T21:08:00.000-06:00

Taa-daa! All done. Now I just need to get it framed. I figure it will look nice in a nursery. Now all I've got to do is have a baby. Ha!

Yeah, I could do this.

2010-07-31T18:20:00.000-06:00

I went and saw Inception last night with my brother and his fiance. Wow, that's such a grown-up term to apply to my little brother. Anyway, the movie was good and thought-provoking. Different layers of dreams, travelling deeper into the subconscious, what is real? A fun topic to explore.

Aside from that, I finished my guardian angel cross-stitch and needed something else to do so today I spent a couple hours just writing. It was nice. The scene somewhat surprised me as to what happened out of it, and it changes a couple things for the good. Maybe I'll write more after dinner, and maybe some tomorrow too. Hopefully I can make myself do this.

Now at 45,118 words.

wee bit of writing...

2010-07-28T01:09:00.000-06:00

44,002 words.

Forced it out. Not sure if this was good or bad, but it was a somewhat dull spot that I had to skim over pretty quickly. The next scene will be quite fun, I think. For some reason, I like this line:

"A green dragon was staring at her, skin glinting in the sunlight, eyes dark with wary curiosity."

it's too hot

2010-07-27T19:09:00.000-06:00

Sometimes it's hard to know the right course of action.

Blah blah blah, I'm having a not-so-good day.

On the upside, I'm almost done my guardian angel cross-stitch so I'll be posting a picture of that fairly soon.

It's only up from here..?

2010-07-21T16:12:00.000-06:00

I am single.
I am living with my parents.
My mother forces me to hand out resumes to minimum wage jobs.

Aaaaaah, I've retreated to post-highschool life.

Really though, I've got a phone interview with an Edmonton company tomorrow morning, and I hope to move there and be room-mates with Lauren. And do my Master's at UofA. So it's not so bad.

I like to think I've rebooted my life.

A minor complaint

2010-07-18T20:12:00.001-06:00

I like the new blogger "Design" option, but I wish I could use my own background images. I haven't yet figured that out and the code is way beyond me. At least the rest of it looks good.

relief

2010-07-15T18:37:00.000-06:00

I found something today that made me realize that I am truly doing the right thing. I'm so glad... it will be easier now.

Take this leap...

2010-07-14T16:08:00.000-06:00

My life is topsy-turvy. Where will I end up? I've got a few choices, and I won't let myself stay here. I can see better things waiting for me to get out of this hole I dug.

I am made of secrets, but the one who listens knows them all. My sanity is a delicate balance. I feel like I could crack at any moment, be someone else, let myself escape into ignorance, but I'm holding on tight but barely tight enough. And yet I know this is the moment, this is the time when things are changing. I'm changing my life, my situation. I should be glad but it is so hard to let go of what could have been, shut that open door of possibility.

But I'm opening so many other doors in the process.

2010-06-17T01:03:00.000-06:00

Even though I should stay here and look for work, I'm going to Wisconsin for the weekend with my dad and brothers, to go racing. Well, my dad will do the racing. The rest of us will be the crew. Anyway it's an extremely long drive and I hope it continues to be worth it.

And then afterward, I'm headed to Cranny where my family will be briefly all in the same place at the same time! Imagine that... I may also look for work there, but probably not. I have stuff here to take care of. Like my vegetable garden!

But really, I am such a slacker for not yet having aquired employment. I don't know if I've just been applying the wrong places but seriously a graduate should not have to go all the way back down to fast food. It's just not fair, and I know life isn't fair but oh well.